Title

Why this job? Why me? I mean, a nanny, housekeeper?  I get paid close to jack shit so much so it migt as well be nothing. My mind is exhausted and there's only one thing that will give me what I need to get through another chunk of time of this job. Hopefully, it comes tomorrow.
Im Elli by the way. Incase anyone was wondering, which they probably weren't but I'll just put that out there. I remember being in high school even in my early 20s. I wanted to be someone important.  I wanted to help people.  That went out the window quickly when I met Mitch. We were together most of highschool and a grand total of 10 years. His life was nothing but a hard spiral downward and it seemed like I just spiraled with it. And this is where I ended up. No prospects, a semi shitty boss, cleaning asses and floors.
Dont get it confused though, I love those kids and once in a while I get to shag the boss but it's most definitely NOT where I thought I would be. I was gonna go to New York, act and/or sing.  I was gonna be a psychologist and help people. Now I'm one of those people that needs the help but  is far too stubborn to admit it. Bottle it up "Back Burner Elli". My parents never physically said that but they may as well have. I mean, seriously,  when they can't ask how my day was because they're too busy with my older sister, Jackie, you learn realy quick what's important to bring up and what's not. In my case most things werent that important.
So, here I am struggling to make everything better for a family that isnt even mine. I doubt I'll even have my own family someday but why get into that now? I ask his kids how their days were. I help with homework. At least I get free room and board plus meals.  I feel like one of those "meth moms" you hear about that use just to get through their day to day monotony.  Except I'm not a mom....doesnt make it any less monotonous.  My life is full of lunches, homework, bedtimes, baths, and bottles. No friends to speak of. Makes one feel very alone.  Makes one yearn for adult interaction of any kind. Probably why I occasionally shag the boss.
I feel like I'm starting off far too much in the middle.  Maybe I should start closer to the beginning....

One would think I had a normal childhood and to most I  did. Secrets can scar. I remember racing my Dad around the yard when he was are around. Dont get me wrong I understood he had a job that was demanding and had many unpredictable shifts. He worked hard. My Mom was always around but rarely there. Dont ask dont tell was a strict policy when it came to me. That's the impression I got anyway. Jackie had it hard, mentally that is. Doctors said the older she got the worst she would get and I can definitely contest to that being a truth. I had another sister, Marissa, but she was a hot hell of a mess. All 3 of us were adopted. Jackie and I are literally half sisters, where as Marissa was adopted as a product of a foster home my parents had before I came along. It was too late for her. She used to attempt to convince cops that our Dad hit her down the stairs with a 2x4. Just her luck the cop happened to be our Dad's friend. To be blunt, she's a dumb bitch.   She's barely rrelevant but how can I deny her in this when she helped make me who I currently am? I was so much younger than she was a lot to me. When I was syoung we got a long so well. She was the sister I wanted that I couldnt get from Jackie. Which honestly is sad considering Jackie was my actual sister.  Eventually after about the 4th time of Marissa running away she stayed gone and to. Be quite honest, I was heart broken. I was left with Jackie. This person who would hit me directly in the head. Who would slap me and try to say she didnt even though she left a hand print straight across my face. The jealousy she had for me for reasons still unknown was mind boggeling.